11.2.10
7.2.10
078
im unecessary
im complatent
im slowly dying
i dont stand out
and i don't make big impacts
but all i know, is when your not here, i dont sleep as
well. im in a constant state of terror and bleakness. i dont feel safe, even if
neither of us is awake, its like im untouchable.
077
so i know i have failed to keep up with this lately, and i'm sorry.
its just a matter of no camera and not wanting to steal pictures everyday, so i have kind of kept it on the down low. anyhow, i'm sorry. camera will be back tomorrow, and so will i, with new and exciting things.
on the plus side, two months with my boyfriend the other day. i worked all day, but got a big surprise while i was on the phone to him the other night.
part of it went like this....
next thing he walks through my bedroom door, i dont think i could stop saying what the fuck for about 15 minutes. oh well.
its just a matter of no camera and not wanting to steal pictures everyday, so i have kind of kept it on the down low. anyhow, i'm sorry. camera will be back tomorrow, and so will i, with new and exciting things.
on the plus side, two months with my boyfriend the other day. i worked all day, but got a big surprise while i was on the phone to him the other night.
part of it went like this....
L- yeah, i'm at dads tonight
E- okay, i will see you tomorrow though,
yeah?
L- yeah. hold on babe, i have to hang up to let myself in,
i'll call you back on the
home phone.
E- okay babe, love you, bye.
L- bye
next thing he walks through my bedroom door, i dont think i could stop saying what the fuck for about 15 minutes. oh well.
1.2.10
075
about five minutes ago i found out a very special girl to me was moving to the other side of the country. i'm going to go cry now. we are chatting about our memories and plans for the future, i'm happy for her, but so sad she is moving also. i will miss you beautiful milanka gold!
074
today i woke up.
i had bed hair all day.
i said goodbye to the boy i love.
i talked to a very close friend.
i had a cigarette.
i cried over silly things.
i sipped strong coffee.
i indulged in chocolate.
i did nothing.
today i wasted my day away.
i had bed hair all day.
i said goodbye to the boy i love.
i talked to a very close friend.
i had a cigarette.
i cried over silly things.
i sipped strong coffee.
i indulged in chocolate.
i did nothing.
today i wasted my day away.
072
this day was surprising, and it was fun too. i just wish i had a million dollars for all the things i wanted. thank you crazy cat camera lady
31.1.10
071
hello and sorry all the same
i have been neglectful, with a busy life of work and outings, interests and disappointments.
ut the main things going on are that im having fun and im care free. i still miss some of the people i am very close to, and the new people i am meeting are equally amazing. there is more in this life for the rest of us to share, then to have it all alone.
the last days have been spent working, and now i have a day off. friday was a very nice start to the weekend, talking to those which i previously 'hated' and catching up. watching law abiding citizen, which is an incredible movie. the way it is made is remarkable. a quick chat to dad about staying out that night and then a ride to levis. saturday was an ill start, literally. i felt horrid, but by midday i was okay, and we headed out. leading to eagleby to see some friends play. attempting to sell merch and just hanging out with people was good.
for those of you who were not there, my name is now kate. if josh has not informed you already. a line up of dead set, misouri breaks, time has come, forget not the silenced and others. it was very enjoyable. i saw some friends i have not seen in a long time. then we had some troubles, but got over them. we headed to claytons house, but did not get there until early morning. not nearly enough sleep and then work the next day was surprisingly easy...
now levi has gone to stay with a friend, its upsetting not having him with me :(
today is boring and rainy, but it is nice and cold
i have been neglectful, with a busy life of work and outings, interests and disappointments.
ut the main things going on are that im having fun and im care free. i still miss some of the people i am very close to, and the new people i am meeting are equally amazing. there is more in this life for the rest of us to share, then to have it all alone.
the last days have been spent working, and now i have a day off. friday was a very nice start to the weekend, talking to those which i previously 'hated' and catching up. watching law abiding citizen, which is an incredible movie. the way it is made is remarkable. a quick chat to dad about staying out that night and then a ride to levis. saturday was an ill start, literally. i felt horrid, but by midday i was okay, and we headed out. leading to eagleby to see some friends play. attempting to sell merch and just hanging out with people was good.
for those of you who were not there, my name is now kate. if josh has not informed you already. a line up of dead set, misouri breaks, time has come, forget not the silenced and others. it was very enjoyable. i saw some friends i have not seen in a long time. then we had some troubles, but got over them. we headed to claytons house, but did not get there until early morning. not nearly enough sleep and then work the next day was surprisingly easy...
now levi has gone to stay with a friend, its upsetting not having him with me :(
today is boring and rainy, but it is nice and cold
27.1.10
070
have you ever had those mixed feelings about someone, you had yet to meet? as much to say, you heard a story, with a negative perspective on the individual, and the first time meeting them was a little awkward.........
that happened to me this week. though i didn't mind and it wasn't a bad story, but just a way of acting it still bothered me. it feels better though now, i had fun and in a way grew past it. im not the person who enjoys drama in the slightest, in fact i tend to avoid it at all possible costs, but its okay now.
the past few days have been painful and long, with not nearly enough sleep, and a migraine that just will not disappear. its a gruelling process, to say the least. but the days have been fun, being silly, watching fireworks, seeing friends. its good to know that you have people that care all the time, and some strange conversations may occur, but they are always memorable. watching friends almost tear each other apart, and regrettably hearing of one that almost lost his life. it has been eventful.
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